This week we’re reflecting, as we often do, on the fickleness of motivation. While it’s often possible to adjust to natural fluctuations of energy, sometimes motivation disappears as a package—we can’t do the task, can’t adjust, and sometimes can’t even reflect on what’s going on. In other words, just like sailors, sometimes we writers find ourselves becalmed despite our best plans—the doldrums wallop us!
How we think, feel, and act in those moments can make all the difference in getting back to writing, or at least feeling OK about ourselves and our fickle capacities. So let’s drill down!
Thought and the Doldrums
There are two ways in which our thought-patterns make the doldrums worse.
First, our cultural scripts around motivation are mostly broken. We typically think that we have more intentional control over their energy levels than we do. The ability to buckle down and power through usually only applies to very well-defined tasks. And well-defined tasks are the sorts of tasks that we can optimize so that we feel productive and in control. Writing is usually not a well-defined task, regardless of genre.
When writers uncritically accept cultural scripts that suggest that we “power through” the doldrums, we actively make things worse when we’re in them. Now we’re feeling bad about a natural drop in energy, and we end up using up more energy judging ourselves, which can lead to a downward spiral of badness, to put it technically.
Second, the more meaningful a task is, the more likely we are to think that we should feel inspired and ride the inspiration wave to the end. This is mostly wrong. Inspiration is a temporary wind that fills our sails; most of the work of writing (or any complex task) is skilled, but repetitive crafting.
We have to work hard to remind ourselves that when we’re becalmed it’s not because (1) we’re undisciplined, or (2) not passionate about what we do. It takes patience and persistence to remember these two things.
Feelings and the Doldrums
Even if we have gotten past the unhelpful scripts and thoughts that make the doldrums worse, it still feels bad to be in them. We may be under totally legitimate time pressure. We may have a long to-do list. Or we may be distracted, stressed, harried, or underslept. This things needs to get done, and it’s not getting done. That’s a recipe for bad feeling.
Typically, we avoid the bad feeling. We do this in lots of ways: we push the feelings away, or we channel them into something else, or we rationalize them. These are all ways of playing into the utterly impossible idea that work shouldn’t feel bad sometimes.
The skillful way to address bad feelings is to bring in a bit of stillness. Usually, the task isn’t that hard, but we’ve made mountains out of molehills. A bit of stillness helps things reset and rejig at that level below conscious thought. Just a few breaths help sometimes. Sometimes a walk will help. Sometimes wiggling our bodies helps. Just expressing the stuckness might be enough. (We’re very fond of exclaiming “But I don’t want to!” at pretty regular intervals as we work.)
With stillness and expression we give some space for feelings to settle without pushing them away. If in this state you find that the feeling is totally legitimate, it might be time to give yourself a break. But feelings also lie. There’s no substitute for discernment, which is a learnable skill.
Actions and the Doldrums
Even assuming we’re approaching the doldrums with Zen-like insight into thoughts and feelings, the doldrums still present a vexing question: what do I do now?
We want to suggest that sometimes that very question is a trap. Humans have a general tendency towards acting rather than sitting and waiting for the next course of action to emerge. So, sitting with the doldrums is sometimes the best option.
There’s usually a reason why our motivation tanked in this situation, but usually we’re too active to recognize it. Sitting with the doldrums and not beating ourselves up can actually be a lovely moment of rest. And we think that’s the reason why the doldrums arise most of the time: our system needs rest. So we should give it, without indulging or judging. Just rest.
That’s really the take-home message today: rest! Resting is not opposed to meaningful and engaged work. In fact, it’s necessary for it, as long as we eventually get back to the task.